Five teachers with a combined 90 decades of experience share tips for parents of two - to 5-year-olds. Finding the Best Out of Your Kid I worry that my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At school she cleans her toys up, puts on her sneakers, and is entirely self-sufficient at potty time. In the home, she yells whenever I ask her to pick up anything, insists I join her in the restroom whenever she must go, and lately has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her teacher knows something I don't. But then, what parent hasn't occasionally wondered: Why is my kid better for everybody else than for me personally? The easy answer: Your child tests her limits with you since she trusts you'll love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean that you can't borrow a few plans from the preschool teachers' playbook to get the best from your child. We asked teachers from all over the nation for their tips so listen up and take notes! .
Don't delay discipline
If you must reprimand your child, do so once you watch her misbehaving, advises Buss. Occasionally I will hear parents say, 'Wait till we get home...,' but by the time you're home, your child has forgotten the episode. Likewise, canceling Saturday's zoo trip due to Thursday's tantrum won't prevent future outbursts; it will only feel like random, undeserved punishment to your child.
Warn of alterations
If your child pitches a fit if you pronounce it's time to change gears --whether that means shutting off the TV, stopping play to come consume, or departing a friend's house -- it might be that you're not devoting enough advance notice. At school we let kids know when transitions are coming so that they have time to finish whatever they're doing, observes Cohen-Dorfman. If you need to leave the home at 8:30 a.m., warn your child at 8:15 she's five more minutes to play, then might have to cease to put her toys away. Set a timer so that she knows if the time is up.
Encourage teamwork.
If your kid is fighting over a toy with a different child, set a timer for 5 minutes, suggests Buss. Tell one kid he can have the toy until he hears the buzzer, and then it is going to be another child's turn.
Create predictable routines
Children collaborate in college since they understand what's due to them,'' says Beth Cohen-Dorfman, educational planner at Chicago's Concordia Avondale Campus preschool. The children follow essentially the exact same routine day after day, so they immediately learn what they are supposed to do, and after some time hardly need reminding. While it would be impractical to have the same amount of structure at home, the more consistent you're, the more cooperative your kid is likely to be, indicates Cohen-Dorfman. Choose several patterns and stick to them: Everybody gets dressed before breakfast. When we come from outside, we wash our hands. No bedtime tales until all kids are in jammies. Eventually, after these house rules will become second nature for your kid.
Involve her in righting her wrongs
If you discover her coloring on the walls, then have her help clean off it. If she knocks over a playmate's block tower, ask her to help rebuild it.
Winning Cooperation
Walk into just about any preschool class in the nation, and you'll see children sitting quietly in circles, forming orderly lines, raising their hands to speak, passing out napkins and bites. The question is: How do teachers do it? How do they make a dozen or more children under 4 to collaborate, willingly and happily? While there's no secret formula, most say: Praise is crucial, especially if your child isn't in a cooperative phase. Try to catch her being good. Kids repeat behaviors that capture attention.
Give structured choices
If, by way of example, your 3-year-old fails to sit at the dinner table, you might offer the choice of sitting and receiving dessert -- or not sitting and missing out on a treat. At first, your child might not make the right option, but eventually he will, since he'll observe that the incorrect choice isn't get him what he desires, says Buss. Just be sure, if you'd like your kid to choose option A, that option B is not as attractive.
Do it .
There's a reason the cleanup song functions. Set a task to songs, and suddenly it's fun, says Sandy Haines, a teacher in the Buckingham Cooperative Nursery School, in Glastonbury, Connecticut. In case you're not feeling creative, suggest racing a tune: Would you get dressed prior to Raffi completes singing 'Yellow Submarine'?
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